- Prepare yourself for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, decide who you are looking for, do your research and be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. Also prepare yourself for some let downs along the way. It may take a few dates before you find someone that you have a connection with.
- Start taking care of yourself. Begin a routine of looking your best. Join a gym, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled, and begin a new schedule of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though this will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself. Most people would prefer to date someone who was healthy and active, rather than dating a couch potato.
- If you can afford it, go shopping and treat yourself to some new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't go overboard and look like someone you are not but maybe its time to throw out those old clothes that do not flatter your shape or show off your personality. If you don’t have the funds for a whole new look, ask a friend to help you go through your wardrobe and get rid of everything that doesn’t flatter your shape or colouring.
- Have a good think about what your dating goals are and timescales. Do you see yourself married within a certain time-frame? If you do, then approach dating and finding your partner accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously, then ask yourself some honest questions as to why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then you need to be honest with those you hope to date.
- Sort out your confidence levels in advance. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Do all the things that will boost your confidence from avoiding negative friends (often the married ones) to attending the right kind of social functions. Couples at dinner parties in the ‘burbs’ is not where you will find an eligible partner.
- Choose people you have a realistic chance of dating. Your dating is based on the whole package that you present including your personality. If you’re looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous then good for you, but be prepared to live up to their expectations as well. It’s a two way street. That doesn’t mean that you have to be the most attractive, however you will need to make an effort with your overall look. After all, the reason why you want to date ‘eye candy’ is because of their appearance.
- Check out the area where you live, and target where you are likely to meet people and join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups, anything where you are likely to meet potential partners, especially the kind of partner you are looking for. Its a cliché, but you will not meet people by staying at home.
- Occasionally, take time off from dating if you feel it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Sometime its best to have a break, re-charge your batteries and then start again.
- Dating is all about meeting people, socializing and spending time in the company of interesting individuals who may or may not turn out to be ‘the one’. The fact is, most people are interesting and whilst you may not be out there looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.
- Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and the thrill of the chase when dating. Do not sleep with your dates early on if you want them to progress. The longer the chase the more likely that love may blossom. Spend time getting to know each other. If you have sex too early there is little left to offer and emotions may never have had the time to develop.
Dating Tips For Him
- Look your best. Make sure you have some decent clothes and shoes. Get clothes that fit you, suit you and are contemporary. Make sure you have a wardrobe of inter-changeable outfits. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of her?
- Get your hygiene and styling in order. Make an appointment with the barber and sort out your hair, get a decent style if possible. If you don't have much hair, either get your head shaved or something you can handle. Bald heads are in fashion and can look quite ‘hot’. Purchase a good quality cologne and a grooming kit. Men are so often criticized for smelling bad. There is nothing better than a man who smells great. Get into a regular showering routine and smell good always. Women appreciate it.
- Sort out your job if you have one. Women want a man who has some ambition and drive in life. Any job is better than none. If you have a job but are not happy with it, make a change, don’t just whinge about it. You don’t have to earn large sums of money, however you do need to be happy and proud about what you do for a living. If a woman can see that you love your job, then you will earn her respect and admiration.
- Make sure you are up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers. Women do not appreciate stupidity and laziness in men. Current affairs are important in showing that you know what’s going on with the rest of the world. She most likely will not be interested in knowing how many premierships your favourite football club has won, however she will be interested if you are able to speak to her about various humanitarian activities that are taking place. If you have travelled, then this will help tremendously, if you don't have plans to travel, start making some. Being able and willing to sort out vacations is essential in the grand scheme of things.
- Drinking in the bar 5 nights a week is not a positive exercise. It will not win any fair princess's heart. There is more to life than drinking. Taking a lady out for a drink is great, however you never want to give her the impression that you live there, this will get you nowhere fast.
- You can love your sport, however if this has become a religion for you, you may have a problem. As the saying goes ‘everything in moderation’. If you are serious about dating, then ramming sports down your date's throat will put them off in record time. Sport to the inexperienced or uninterested is completely boring and shows a woman you have limited mental capacity and also a lack of thought, creativity or inspiration. Millions of women love sport too, but don't make your passion into a one-sided one.
- DO NOT expect sex on a first date. If all you are after is sex, then you are in the wrong ‘zone’ to start with. Dating is not about sex; it’s about getting to know someone. A man who is patient is far sexier than one who wants to rush in. Believe it or not, you are capable of waiting for the right woman so do it instead of thinking with your private parts.
- Show her you have manners, are courtesy and that chivalry still exists. A woman likes to be treated well and particularly with respect. Stop the coarse language and swear words, the rudeness and the laziness. Know how to behaviour at social functions, what cutlery to use at restaurants, and know something about fashion, jewellery and flowers. Hold the door open for her, let her go first and help her with her seat. Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too. Show her respect and manners at every step and you won’t go wrong. No matter how much independence woman have gained over the years, they still want a knight in shining armour (good manners and chivalry). No woman longs for a loudmouth, beer-swilling slob.
- Don’t turn the date into a one sided conversation. You need to keep your date interested, so you will need to stop talking and start listening. She will bore of you quickly if it’s all about me, me, me, me. She will want to talk about herself too. Listen to what she tells you about herself and remember them. Women love to chat so you need to learn to listen. If you remember things she has told you, it will impress her immensely and you will have more success in securing another date.
- GIVE UP SMOKING NOW.
- Lean to dance. Women love to dance and dancing is a physical contact sport (or can be). It is also romantic and sexy. If you stay seated while she is on the dance floor then you may as well not exist, as woman love to dance. Take some dance lessons if you need to. It’s all about rhythm and confidence. You don't need to be Travolta however you do need to show her that you are prepared to have a go.
- Women still believe in old fashioned courting and romance. They want to feel special all the time, not just some of the time. Tell her how much you appreciate her, how good she looks etc. Women like surprises and small tokens of appreciation. You don’t have to spend a lot of money on expensive gifts; candle lit dinner (you do the cooking), run her a bubble bath, give her a small bouquet of flowers will go a long way.
- Always be yourself. No point in trying to be something your not. You can only keep this charade up for so long before your start to show your true colours.
- When you are out on a date, always offer to pay. Let her have the option of graciously accepting or paying for herself. If she is interested in you, she will graciously accept and make the offer to pay next time (meaning she is looking forward to seeing you again). An honest woman will pay for herself if she feels there isn’t a connect or chemistry between you.
Dating Tips For Her
- Dating tips for women
- Always look gorgeous, whatever your income. Great hair and some lipstick and wearing rags will still turn his head. Look your best as you could meet a potential Mr. Right anywhere at any time.
- Never reveal any more information you have to. An enigmatic woman drives men wild.
- Keep dates short but your men interested. Less is always more.
- Try and stay in shape and eat healthily. You may want to join a gym, however a brisk daily walk is just as good. The idea is to look and feel great about yourself. Mr. Right will love your body as much as your mind. Staying in shape does not mean losing weight until you look like a stick figure. It’s a known fact that men love women with curves.
- When you’re on a date, always offer to pay for yourself. If he is truly interested in you, he will offer to pay to ensure you eat well and get home safely in a cab.
- Make him aware that old fashioned courting and romance still exists. Let him know that you expect to feel special all the time, not just some of the time. He does not have to spend a lot of money on expensive gifts, small gestures like running a bubble bath, cooking you dinner will go a long way. If he doesn't know what a florist is, dump him.
- NEVER EVER sleep with a guy until he has fallen for you. Sex early in your dating game plan will ruin everything. Have you ever wondered why you never heard from a guy after sleeping with him on the first couple of dates …. that’s because you made it too easy.
- It is a lady's prerogative to turn up late. Keep him waiting a few minutes, never turn up early.
- Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying.
- If he is available Wednesday, you are available Friday.
- Do not give up your weekend shopping trips with your girlfriends for a date.
- Ensure you are a good kisser. Men will walk away if you cannot kiss.
- Never ever talk about previous boyfriends and particularly their prowess in the bedroom. The number of ex boyfriends is not relevant.
- Never assume anything about your date until you choose to know him better. Looks can be deceptive.
- If any man shows the slightest signs of possessiveness or insecurity run, and run fast.
- If his shoes or hygiene are a disgrace, move on.
- Never ever come across as too available or too desperate, he will run a mile. He is the one doing the chasing remember.
- If the guy in the corner is gorgeous go and get him and create the need in him for you. Never wait for men to come to you because you may watch him leave with someone else.
- Always remember you are a woman and a lady. No man wants a foul mouthed ‘cow’.
- If you want children, don't mention it on the first few dates.
- Don’t expect him to pay. Always offer to pay for yourself. If you are not interested in seeing him again then have the decency and pay for yourself.
- Never ever criticize his mother unless you want to remain single.
- Always remain cool and sophisticated.
Always remember ladies that you are a sexy desirable woman and the world is your oyster. Always let men do the chasing and always let yourself be the chooser. Always stay safe and never risk yourself for the sake of attending a date.
Tips for ending a bad date
First off - thank him for a nice date, and explain (gently) that you don't feel that there is any chemistry. You may prefer to do this by phone at a later stage. If he asks for a second chance, and asks you to go on another date with him; you must be firm with him. If you don't want to have any kind of relationship with the guy, then you have to make it quite clear.
Don't tell him that you want to be friends, unless you are really serious about being his friend and actually believe it can happen. If you don't want to see him again, make this very clear and avoid any contact with him at all. Even giving in to a good night kiss will send out the wrong signal and that is the last thing you want.
Men are not good at reading signals and mistake many gestures you make towards them. They can take rejection badly but being cruel to be kind is the way forward. You need to keep a cool head but make things clear. If you were going out as a friend in the first place you should make this clear in advance otherwise you will end up trying to explain his advances are unwanted later and he will want to know why. Dating for men is as tricky as it is for women and therefore you owe it to yourself and your date to end things amicably, but swiftly if it is simply not what you are looking for.
That way both people can move forward.
Flirting Tips
THE GOALS OF FLIRTING:
You DO want:
...to have fun and get to know a little more about him/her.
...to show him/her that that you're interested.
...to make sure you give him/her enough encouragement to ask you out.
You DON'T want:
...to come on too strong.
...to seem like you're just looking for a fling.
...to appear desperate.
...to scare him/her away.
THE 7 SECRETS TO SUCCESSFUL FLIRTING
1. Make Eye Contact Your first reaction to this one might be, "duh." And yes,it SEEMS obvious, but you might be messing this one up without knowing it.
That's because in order to send an effective signal with eye contact, you need to hold your gaze longer than might seem natural. Three whole seconds.
That's ONE one-thousand... TWO one-thousand... THREE one-thousand.
But then be sure to look away. You don't want to overdo this one. There's a fine line between sending the "Hey, I noticed you. Come talk to me," signal and "I'm a creepy stalker" signal.
2. Smile
This is another seemingly simple tip that both women and men screw up all the time. It's not about mastering some super-sexy, sly, I'm-smiling-AT-you smile.
You want to convey that you're warm-hearted, fun and approachable by smiling NATURALLY - at the person you're standing with, at the people around you, at the bartender when he hands you your drink, and - yes - at the ‘hottie’ you've been trading glances with. Guys, for all their tough talk, are just as scared of rejection as feamles are. If you radiate friendliness to everyone around you, he/she is going to get the message that if he/she takes the initiative to approach you, you won't bite his/her head off.
3. Open with something playful
Now whether he/she approaches you or you decide to chat him/her up (risky, but possibly effective if done right), I recommend breaking the ice with a light-hearted, fun and, well, flirty statement.
For example, you're at the dog park. Try something like, "Your boxer is totally snubbing my pug! She/he can't help it if she/he snorts."
Or if you're at a bar, "Oh...so you're a martini/scotch drinker? I've been warned about girls/guys like you."
Just remember - smile, keep it light - you're going for PLAYFUL, not biting or sarcastic. Sarcasm will immediately play into his/her fear of rejection and he'll/she’ll flee faster than you can bat an eyelid.
4. Ask him/her questions about himself/herself
When you show interest in a man's/woman’s life, he/she feels on top of the world. By asking him/her questions about his/her career, his/her family, his/her friends, his/her interests, etc - you create instant attraction. He/she feels important and interesting, and he'll/she’ll begin to associate that feeling with being with you. He'll/she’ll want to feel it again, which is one of the subconscious motivators for him/her to ask you out.
(Of course if he/she is content just to talk about himself/herself without reciprocating questions about you, you may decide you don't want to go out with him/her anyway. Who wants to date a self-centered egomaniac?!?)
5. Laugh
This goes along with #4. Women/men love a man/woman with a sense of humor, and guys/girls are acutely aware of this. If you laugh at his/her jokes, his/her confidence will skyrocket. He's/she’s succeeded at charming you... which means he's/she’s got the green light to ask you out.
6. Reveal something unique about yourself
As mentioned in #4, hopefully this guy/girl is doing his/her part to keep the conversation flowing by asking you questions. This is your opportunity to reveal something unique about yourself.
Maybe you have a talent like songwriting, do awesome things for your community like building houses for Habitat for Humanity, or are an aspiring inventor.
These things will pique his/her interest, intrigue him/her, and set you apart from other women/men he/she knows.
Just be careful not to resort to "stupid human tricks" like showing him/her that you're double-jointed or tying the stem from the cherry in your drink into a knot with your tongue.
You're not trying out for the circus here and by the way, that subtle sensual innuendo you think you're sending? Not so subtle.
7. Pay attention to body language
Only 7% of communication is verbal (that means 93% is nonverbal body language).
In other words, your actions (very literally) speak louder than your words.
If a man/woman spots you across the room but you have your arms folded across your chest, that sends the subconscious signal "Stay away. I'm closed off."
Conversely, if your posture is good and your shoulders are back, opening up your frame, it sends the message that your heart is open to possibilities (even if he's/she’s not consciously aware of it).
When you're engaged in conversation, leaning in toward him/her conveys interest (that's when being in a loud, crowded bar can work to your advantage! It gives you a legitimate reason to lean in and speak in one another's ear, which creates a connection).
If you're seated, crossing your legs (women) and pointing them toward him also sends a message that you're interested. Very literally, it is the act of aligning your body with his that signals, "we're in line with one another."
